Data Quality is People!
Jim Harris in Data Quality tagged Business-IT Collaboration, DQ-Tale, Humor, Philosophy Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 3:04PM
New York City, 2022 - Technical Architect Robert Thorn and Business Analyst Sol Roth have been called in by Business Director Harry Harrison and IT Director Tab Fielding to investigate an unsolved series of anomalies that have been plaguing the company's Dystopian Automated Transactional Analysis (DATA) system.
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“Thank you for coming on such short notice. We hope that you will be able to help us with our DATA problems.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“You're welcome.”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“I am sure that we can help. Can you provide us with an overview of the situation?”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“We hired quality expert William Simonson from Soylent Consulting to fix our DATA problems.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“Soylent Consulting? Never heard of them.”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“They are the professional services division of Green, Incorporated.”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“Yes, that's right - the High-Energy, Environmentally-Minded Corporation”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“More like the High-Rate, Weak-Minded Corporation, if you ask me.”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“Well anyway, Mr. Simonson first met with me to receive the business requirements.”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“Receive? You mean he was handed the completed business requirements document?”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“Yes, of course.”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“So...he didn't meet directly with anyone on the business team?”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“No, I write the business requirements document so that meeting with the business team is unnecessary.”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“O...K...then what happened?”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“Mr. Simonson met with me to receive the functional specifications.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“Receive? So...did you write the functional specifications?”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“Yes, I write the functional specifications after reading Mr. Harrison's business requirements document.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“Reading? So...you didn't even meet directly with Mr. Harrison?”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“No, before today's meeting, I haven't even seen him or anyone from the business team in months.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“O...K...then what happened?”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“Mr. Simonson spent a few months coding, implemented our solution, then told us he was ‘going home.’”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“And now our DATA is worse than ever!”
Sol Roth (Business Analyst):
“And both of you are wondering how it came to this?”
Harry Harrison (Business Director) and Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“Yes!”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“I'll tell you how. Because you both forgot the most important aspect of DATA.”
Tab Fielding (IT Director):
“What are you talking about?”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“It's people. Data's Quality is made by People. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!”
Harry Harrison (Business Director):
“I promise, Thorn. I promise. We will tell executive management.”
Robert Thorn (Technical Architect):
“You tell everybody. Listen to me, both of you! You've gotta tell everybody that Data Quality is People!”
Reader Comments (3)
The African savanna 1.36 million years ago.
Two people meet. As in science fiction all aliens speak English we also assume that these spoke English.
“Hey Joe, how are you doing?”
“Thanks, I just killed a giant lion."
“With your bare hands?”
“No, I used a knife.”
“A knife, like this sharp stone? You can’t kill a lion with that.”
“That’s not a knife. This is a knife.”
“What a great tool, where did you buy that?”
“The tribe on the other side of the pond makes great tools."
Great post.
How about:
New Consultant: How good is the data?
Business Guy: Pretty damn good!
New Consultant: Charles said it was good enough.
Business Guy: That makes us both liars.
From the LinkedIn Group for TDWI, Ed Todd commented:
"Liked the still from the movie, too. Points well taken. I'll prod a little by saying that institutions, processes, incentive plans, arbitrary deadlines, and unreasonable expectations could not necessarily be fixed or overcome even if Harry and Tab had tried working with their customer or each other. Having participated in and led several JAD sessions - there's a huge cultural resistance to doing the right thing. Cultural resistance (like old age and treachery) will always defeat skill. (sigh)"