Council Data Governance

Inspired by the great Eagles song Hotel California, this DQ-Song “sings” about the common mistake of convening a council too early when starting a new data governance program.  Now, of course, data governance is a very important and serious subject, which is why some people might question whether or not music is the best way to discuss data governance.

Although I understand that skepticism, I can’t help but recall the words of Frank Zappa:

“Information is not knowledge;

Knowledge is not wisdom;

Wisdom is not truth;

Truth is not beauty;

Beauty is not love;

Love is not music;

Music is the best.”

Council Data Governance

Down a dark deserted hallway, I walked with despair
As the warm smell of bagels rose up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to attend another data governance council meeting
As I stood in the doorway
I heard the clang of the meeting bell

And I was thinking to myself
This couldn’t be heaven, but this could be hell
As stakeholders argued about the data governance way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say . . .

Welcome to the Council Data Governance
Such a dreadful place (such a dreadful place)
Time crawls along at such a dreadful pace
Plenty of arguing at the Council Data Governance
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can hear stakeholders arguing there

Their agendas are totally twisted, with means to their own end
They use lots of pretty, pretty words, which I don’t comprehend
How they dance around the complex issues with sweet sounding threats
Some speak softly with remorse, some speak loudly without regrets

So I cried out to the stakeholders
Can we please reach consensus on the need for collaboration?
They said, we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen ninety nine
And still those voices they’re calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of this endless meeting
Just to hear them say . . .

Welcome to the Council Data Governance
Such a dreadful place (such a dreadful place)
Time crawls along at such a dreadful pace
They argue about everything at the Council Data Governance
And it’s no surprise (it’s no surprise)
To hear defending the status quo alibis

Bars on all of the windows
Rambling arguments, anything but concise
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
In the data governance council chambers
The bickering will never cease
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
Relax, said the stakeholders
We have been programmed by bureaucracy to believe
You can leave the council meeting any time you like
But success with data governance, you will never achieve!

More Data Quality Songs Data Love Song Mashup I’m Gonna Data Profile (500 Records) A Record Named Duplicate New Time Human Business You Can’t Always Get the Data You Want I’m Bringing DQ Sexy Back Imagining the Future of Data Quality The Very Model of a Modern DQ General

More Data Governance Posts Beware the Data Governance Ides of March Data Governance Star Wars: Bureaucracy versus Agility Aristotle, Data Governance, and Lead Rulers Data Governance needs Searchers, not Planners Data Governance Frameworks are like Jigsaw Puzzles Is DG a D-O-G? The Hawthorne Effect, Helter Skelter, and Data Governance Data Governance and the Buttered Cat Paradox

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Data Love Song Mashup

Today is February 14 — Valentine’s Day — the annual celebration of enduring romance, where true love is publicly judged according to your willingness to purchase chocolate, roses, and extremely expensive jewelry, and privately judged in ways that nobody (and please, trust me when I say nobody) wants to see you post on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, or your blog.

Valentine’s Day is for people in love to celebrate their love privately in whatever way works best for them.

But since your data needs love too, this blog post provides a mashup of love songs for your data.

Data Love Song Mashup

I’ve got sunshine on a cloud computing day
When it’s cold outside, I’ve got backups from the month of May
I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way?
My data, my data, my data
Singing about my data
My data

My data’s so beautiful 
And I tell it every day
When I see your user interface
There’s not a thing that I would change
Because my data, you’re amazing
Just the way you are
You’re amazing data
Just the way you are

They say we’re young and we don’t know
We won’t find data quality issues until we grow
Well I don’t know if that is true
Because you got me, data
And data, I got you
I got you, data

Look into my eyes, and you will see
What my data means to me
Don’t tell me data quality is not worth trying for
Don’t tell me it’s not worth fighting for
You know it’s true
Everything I do, I do data quality for you

I can’t make you love data if you don’t
I can’t make your heart feel something it won’t

But there’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can make that can’t be made
All you need is love . . . for data
Love for data is all you need

Business people working hard all day and through the night
Their database queries searching for business insight
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the data quality blues
Oh, the need for business insight never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don’t stop believing
Hold on to that data loving feeling

Look at your data, I know its poor quality is showing
Look at your organization, you don’t know where it’s going
I don’t know much, but I know your data needs love too
And that may be all I need to know

Nothing compares to data quality, no worries or cares
Business regrets and decision mistakes, they’re memories made
But if you don’t continuously improve, how bittersweet that will taste
I wish nothing but the best for you
I wish nothing but the best for your data too
Don’t forget data quality, I beg, please remember I said
Sometimes quality lasts in data, but sometimes it hurts instead

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours

Happy Data Quality to you and your data

I’m Gonna Data Profile (500 Records)

While researching my blog post (to be published on December 31) about the best data quality blog posts of the year, I re-read the great post Profound Profiling by Daragh O Brien, which recounted how he found data profiling cropping up in conversations and presentations he’d made this year, even where the topic of the day wasn’t “Information Quality” and shared his thoughts on the profound business benefits of data profiling for organizations seeking to manage risk and ensure compliance.

And I noticed that I had actually commented on this blog post . . . with song lyrics . . .

I’m Gonna Data Profile (500 Records) *

When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the one who profiles early and often for you
When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who goes along with data
If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who gets drunk on managing risk for you
And if I haver up, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who’s havering about how: “It’s the Information, Stupid!”

But I would profile 500 records
And I would profile 500 more
Just to be the one who profiles a thousand records
To deliver the profound business benefits of data profiling to your door

da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data!
da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data profiling!

When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who’s working hard to ensure compliance for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I’ll pass almost every penny on to improving data for you
When I come home (When I come home), well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who comes back home with data quality
And if I grow-old, (When I grow-old) well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who’s growing old with information quality

But I would profile 500 records
And I would profile 500 more
Just to be the one who profiles a thousand records
To deliver the profound business benefits of data profiling to your door

da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data!
da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data profiling!

When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who’s lonely without data profiling to do
And when I’m dreaming, well I know I’m gonna dream
I’m gonna dream about the time when I’m data profiling for you
When I go out (When I go out), well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who goes along with data
And when I come home (When I come home), yes I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the one who comes back home with data quality
I’m gonna be the one who’s coming home with information quality

But I would profile 500 records
And I would profile 500 more
Just to be the one who profiles a thousand records
To deliver the profound business benefits of data profiling to your door

da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data!
da da da da – ta ta ta ta
da da da da – ta ta ta ta – data profiling!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

* Based on the 1988 song I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers.

Data Quality Music (DQ-Songs)

Over the Data Governance Rainbow

A Record Named Duplicate

New Time Human Business

People

You Can’t Always Get the Data You Want

A spoonful of sugar helps the number of data defects go down

Data Quality is such a Rush

I’m Bringing DQ Sexy Back

Imagining the Future of Data Quality

The Very Model of a Modern DQ General

A Record Named Duplicate

Although The Rolling Forecasts recently got the band back together for the Data Rock Star World Tour, the tour scheduling (as well as its funding and corporate sponsorship) has encountered some unexpected delays. 

For now, please enjoy the following lyrics from another one of our greatest hits—this one reflects our country music influences.

A Record Named Duplicate *

My data quality consultant left our project after month number three,
And he didn’t leave much to my project team and me,
Except this old laptop computer and a bunch of empty bottles of beer.
Now, I don’t blame him ‘cause he run and hid,
But the meanest thing that he ever did,
Was before he left, he went and created a record named “Duplicate.”

Well, he must of thought that it was quite a joke,
But it didn’t get a lot of laughs from any executive management folk,
And it seems I had to fight that duplicate record my whole career through.
Some Business gal would giggle and I’d get red,
And some IT guy would laugh and I’d bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain’t easy with a record named “Duplicate.”

Well, I became a data quality expert pretty damn quick,
My defect prevention skills become pretty damn slick,
And I worked hard everyday to keep my organization’s data nice and clean.
I came to be known for my mean Data Cleansing skills and my keen Data Gazing eye,
And realizing that business insight was where the real data value lies,
As I roamed our data, source to source, I became the Champion of our Data Quality Cause.

But as I collected my fair share of accolades and battle scars, I made a vow to the moon and stars,
That I’d search all the industry conferences, the honky tonks, and the airport bars,
Until I found that data quality consultant who created a record named “Duplicate.”

Well, it was the MIT Information Quality Industry Symposium in mid-July,
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
So I thought I’d stop by Cheers and have myself a brew.
At that old saloon on Beacon Street,
There at a table, escaping from the Boston summer heat,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that created a record named “Duplicate.”

Well, I knew that snake was my old data quality consultant,
From the worn-out picture next to his latest Twitter tweet,
And I knew those battle scars on his cheek and his Data Gazing eye.
He was sitting smugly in his chair, looking mighty big and bold,
And as I looked at him sitting there, I could feel my blood running cold.

And I walked right up to him and then I said: “Hi, do you remember me?
On this USB drive in my hand, is some of the dirtiest data you’re ever gonna see,
You think the dirty, mangy likes of you could challenge me at Data Quality?”

Well, he smiled and he took the drive,
And we set up our laptops on the table, side by side.
We data profiled, re-checked the business requirements, and then we data analyzed,
We data cleansed, we standardized, we data matched, and then we re-analyzed.

I tell ya, I’ve fought tougher data cleansing men,
But I really can’t say that I remember when.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
And I saw him conquer data defects, then reveal business insight, all without a fuss.

He went to signal that he was done, but then he noticed that I had already won,
And he just sat there looking at me, and then I saw him smile.

Then he said: “This world of Data Quality sure is rough,
And if you’re gonna make it, you gotta be tough,
And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help you along.
So I created that duplicate record and I said goodbye,
I knew you’d have to get tough or watch your data die,
But it’s that duplicate record that helped to make you strong.”

He said: “Now you just fought one hell of a fight,
And I know you hate me, and you got the right,
To tell me off, and I wouldn’t blame you if you do.
But you ought to thank me before you say goodbye,
For your mean Data Cleansing skills and your keen Data Gazing eye,
‘Cause I’m the son-of-a-bitch that helped you realize you have a passion for Data Quality.”

I got all choked up and I realized I should really thank him for what he'd done,
And then he said he could use a beer and I said I’d buy him one,
So we walked over to the Bull & Finch and we had our selves a brew.
And I walked away from the bar that day with a totally different point of view.

I still think about him, every now and then,
I wonder what data he’s cleansing, and wonder what data he’s already cleansed.
But if I ever create a record of my own, I think I’m gonna name it . . .
“Golden” or “Best” or “Survivor”—anything but “Duplicate”—I still hate that damn record!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

* In 1969, Johnny Cash released a very similar song called A Boy Named Sue.

Related Posts

Data Rock Stars: The Rolling Forecasts

Data Quality is such a Rush

Data Quality is Sexy

Imagining the Future of Data Quality

The Very Model of a Modern DQ General

New Time Human Business

The song “Old Time Rock and Roll” by Bob Seger was perhaps immortalized by that famous scene in the film Risky Business, which has itself become immortalized by its many parodies including the television commercials for the video game Guitar Hero.

As I recently blogged about in my post The Great Rift, the real risky business in the new economy of the 21st century is when organizations prioritize the value of things over the value of people.

Since here in the United States, we are preparing for a long holiday weekend in celebration of the Fourth of July, and also because I am (as usual) in a musical state of mind, I wrote my own parody song called “New Time Human Business.”

New Time Human Business

Just get that Old School way of doing business off your mind,
And listen to me sing about the Human Side of Business, because it’s time.
Today’s business world ain’t got no damn soul,
I like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

Don’t try to take my message to an executive boardroom,
You’ll find they stopped listening to their people a long time before.
I don’t know how they manage to even get their fat heads through the door,
I like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

I’ve always liked how the Human Side of Business rolls,
That kind of business just soothes the soul.
I reminisce about the days of old,
When “Mom and Pop” knew the real business goal,
Relationship, rapport, and trust—yeah, that’s what sold!

Today’s business world ain’t got no damn soul,
I like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

Won’t go to a Big Business Rally to hear them toot their own horn,
I’d rather hear real people sing some classic blues or funky old soul.
There’s only one sure way to get me to listen to your goals,
Start singing like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

Call me a rebel, call me a dreamer, call me what you will,
Say I’m an idiot, say doing business this way, I’ll never pay my damn bills.
But today’s business world ain’t got no damn soul,
I like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

I’ve always liked how the Human Side of Business rolls,
That kind of business just soothes the soul.
I reminisce about the days of old,
When “Mom and Pop” knew the real business goal,
Relationship, rapport, and trust—yeah, that’s what sold!

Today’s business world ain’t got no damn soul,
I like how the New Time Human Business rolls!

The Great Rift

I recently read a great article about social collaboration in the enterprise by Julie Hunt, which includes the excellent insight:

“Most enterprises have failed to engender a ‘collaboration culture’ based on real human interaction.  The executive management of many companies does not even understand what a ‘collaboration culture’ is.  Frankly, executive management of many companies is hard put to authentically value employees—these companies want to de-humanize employees with such terms as ‘resources’ and ‘human capital’, and think that it is enough if they sling around a few ‘mission statements’ claiming that they ‘value’ employees.”

Even though the article was specifically discussing the reason why companies struggle to effectively use social media in business, it reminded me of the reason that many enterprise initiatives struggle—if not fail—to live up to their rather lofty expectations.

The most common root cause for the failure of enterprise initiatives is what I like to refer to as The Great Rift.

The Great Rift

In astronomy, the Great Rift—also known as the Dark Rift—is a series of overlapping and non-luminous molecular dust clouds, which appear to create a dark divide in the otherwise bright band of stars and other luminous objects comprising our Milky Way.

Within the intergalactic empires of the business world, The Great Rift is a metaphor for the dark divide separating how most of these organizations would list and prioritize their corporate assets:

Please note that a list of things is on the left side of The Great Rift and on the right side is a list of people. 

Although the order of importance given to the items within each of these lists is debatable, I would argue what is not debatable is that the list of things is what most organizations prioritize as their most important corporate assets.

It is precisely this prioritization of the value of things over the value of people that creates and sustains The Great Rift.

Of course, the message delivered by corporate mission statements, employee rallies, and customer conferences would lead you to believe the exact opposite is true—and in fairness, some organizations do prioritize the value of people over the value of things.

However, the harsh reality of the business world is that the message “we value our people” is often only a Machiavellian illusion.

I believe that as long as The Great Rift exists, then no enterprise initiative can be successful—or remain successful for very long. 

The enterprise-wide communication and collaboration that is so critical to achieving and sustaining success on initiatives such as Master Data Management (MDM) and Data Governance, can definitely not escape the effects of The Great Rift. 

Eventually, The Great Rift becomes the enterprise equivalent of a black hole, where not even the light shining from your very brightest stars will be able to escape its gravitational pull.

“Returning to the human side of business won’t happen magically,” Julie Hunt concluded her article.  “It will take real work and real commitment, from the executive level through all levels of management and employee departments.”

I wholeheartedly agree with Julie and will therefore conclude this blog post by paraphrasing the lyrics from “Yellow” by Coldplay into a song I am simply calling “People” because repairing The Great Rift and “returning to the human side of business” can only be accomplished by acknowledging that every organization’s truly most important corporate asset is—their people.

Rumors have it that the The Rolling Forecasts might even add the song to their playlist for the Data Rock Star World Tour 2010.

People

Look at your people
Look how they shine for you
And in everything they do
Yeah, they’re all stars

They came along 
They wrote a song for you
About all the Things they do
And it was called People

So they each took their turn 
And sung about all the things they’ve done
And it was all for you

Your business
Oh yeah, your technology and your data too
They turned it all into something beautiful
Did you know they did it for you?
They did it all for you

Now what are you going to do for them?

They crossed The Great Rift
They jumped across for you 
Because all the things you do
Are all done by your people

Look at your stars
Look how they shine
And in everything they do
Look how they shine for you

They crossed the line
The imaginary line drawn by you
Oh what a wonderful thing to do
And it was all for you

Your business
Oh yeah, your technology and your data too
They turned it all into something beautiful
Did you know they did it for you?
They did it all for you

Now what are you going to do for them?

Look at your people, they’re your stars, it’s true
Look how they shine
And in everything they do
Look how they shine for you

Look at your people
Look at your stars
Look how they shine
And in everything they do
Look how they shine for you

Now what are you going to do for them?

Data Rock Stars: The Rolling Forecasts

As is often the case with these sorts of things, it all started with a tweet, based on an online magazine article about rock stars.

The tweet (shown above) was sent by Jill Dyché in regards to the article Are You a Data Rock Star? by Elizabeth Glagowski.

The Rolling Forecasts

After the original tweet went viral, our group had very little choice other than to get the band back together and prepare for our Data Rock Star World Tour 2010.  Jean-Michel Franco named us The Rolling Forecasts.  You can follow us on Twitter:

Jill Dyché – @JillDyche	Elizabeth Glagowski – @1to1MediaEditor
Jean-Michel Franco – @jmichel_franco	Giedre Aleknonyte – @googlea
Michael W Cristiani – @mcristia	Phil Simon – @PhilSimon
Jill Wanless – @sheezaredhead	Jim Harris – @ocdqblog

We are currently working through some “creative differences” while recording our latest studio album, which is scheduled to drop sometime this summer.  For now, please enjoy the following lyrics from one of our greatest hits of all time.  Rock On!

You Can’t Always Get the Data You Want *

I saw her looking for business direction
A document of requirements in her hand
I knew she would find a database connection
And search for the business value they demand

No, you can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
But if you try sometimes, you might find
You get the insight you need

I saw her struggle with data’s imperfection
When at the cursor she declared her command
I knew she questioned her SQL selection
Because the result set wasn’t what she planned

You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get the insight you need

Oh yeah, hey hey hey, oh...

And I went down to the vendor’s product demonstration
To listen to the salesman’s fair share of lies and abuse
Singing: “Now we’re gonna vent our customer frustration
Because we are sick of hearing your sorry ass excuse”
Sing it to me now...

You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
But if you try sometimes, well you just might find
You get the insight you need
Oh baby, yeah, yeah!

I went down to the operational datastore
To get your source data request fulfilled
I was standing in the cubicle of DBA Jimmy
And man, did his data look pretty ill

We decided that we should talk about data quality
Master data management and data governance too
I sung my song to DBA Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was “Screw!”
I said to him

You can’t always get the data you want, no!
You can’t always get the data you want, I’m telling ya baby
You can’t always get the data you want, oh no
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
You get the insight you need
Oh yes!  Woo!

You get the business insight you need
Yeah baby!
Oh, yeah!

I saw her today at the executive presentation
She knew telling the truth would not win her any fans
But she was tired of practicing the art of deception
And I could tell she finally understands
Sing it!

You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
You can’t always get the data you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
Oh, you just might find
You get the insight you need

Oh, yeah!
Oh, baby!
Woo!

Ah, you can’t always get the data you want
No, no baby

You can’t always get the data you want
Telling you right now

You can’t always get the data you want, oh no!
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
You just might find, that yeah!
You get the business insight you need!
Oh, yeah!

I’m telling the truth about data...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

* In 1969, The Rolling Stones released a similar song called “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” on their album Let It Bleed.

Video: The DQ General's Song

In this OCDQ Video, I revisit The Very Model of a Modern DQ General, which was the second post ever published on this blog.

Using The Major-General's Song from The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan as a framework, I encapsulated into lyrics some of the knowledge I have accumulated from over 15 years of experience in the data quality profession.  The intended result was a comical delivery of serious insight.

I recorded a video and not simply a podcast so that you could follow along with the lyrics.  However, my budget couldn't afford the inclusion of the “follow the bouncing ball” technology I enjoyed in many of my favorite childhood cartoons. 

Sparing you the pain of listening to me actually sing, I instead offer for your amusement, my recital of The DQ General's Song:

If you are reading this blog post via e-mail or a feed reader, then to view this video, please click on this link: OCDQ Video

Related Posts

The Very Model of a Modern DQ General

Imagining the Future of Data Quality

Data Quality is Sexy

Data Quality is Sexy

I am sick and tired of hearing people talk about how data quality (DQ) is not sexy.

I was talking with my friend J.T. the other day and he told me I simply needed to remind people data quality has always been sexy.  Sometimes, people just have a tendency to forget. 

J.T. told me:

“You know what you gotta do J.H.?  You gotta bring DQ Sexy back.”

True dat, J.T.

I'm Bringing DQ Sexy Back

I’m bringing DQ Sexy back

All you naysayers, watch how I attack

I think your data’s special, why does your quality lack?

Grant me some access, and I’ll pick up the slack

Dirty data – you see the problems everywhere

Let me be your data cleanser, and baby, I'll be there

We'll whip the Business Process if it misbehaves

But just remember – trying to be perfect – it's not the way

 

I’m bringing DQ Sexy back

Them non-team players don’t know how to act

Let our collaboration get us back on track

Working together, we'll make the right impact

Look at that data – it's your 'prise asset 
Treat it well, and all your business needs will be met

Understanding it will really make you smile 
To get started, you really need to profile

There's no need for you to be afraid – come on 
Go ahead – get your data freak on

 

I’m bringing DQ Sexy back

Any non-believers left?  Don't make me give you a smack

If you have data, you'd better watch out for what it lacks

'Cause quality is what it needs – and that’s a fact

Data Quality is Sexy

That’s right. 

Data Quality is Sexy. 

Always has been. 

Always will be.

True dat, J.H.

Fo real!

Imagining the Future of Data Quality

Earlier this week on Data Quality Pro, Dylan Jones published an Interview with Larry English, one of the earliest pioneers of information quality management, one of the most prominent thought leaders in the industry, and one of the co-founders (along with Thomas Redman) of the International Association for Information and Data Quality (IAIDQ).

The interview also unintentionally sparked some very common debates, including the differences between data and information, data quality (DQ) and information quality (IQ), as well as proactive and reactive approaches to quality management. 

Of course, I added my own strong opinions to these debates, including a few recent posts – The General Theory of Data Quality and Hyperactive Data Quality (Second Edition).

On a much lighter note, and with apologies to fellow fans of John Lennon, I also offer the following song:

Imagining the Future of Data Quality

Imagine there's no defects
It's easy if you try
No data cleansing beneath us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the data
Living with quality

Imagine there's no companies
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to manage or govern
And no experts too
Imagine all the data
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the DQ/IQ world will be as one

Imagine no best practices
I wonder if you can
No need for books or lectures
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the data
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the DQ/IQ world will live as one

The Very Model of a Modern DQ General

With apologies to fellow fans of Gilbert and Sullivan and Sir Henry Lytton, I offer the following Data Quality (DQ) General's Song.  It is certainly not up to the high standards of The Pirates of Penzance or any other comic opera for that matter.  However, I hope that you find it entertaining.

The DQ General's Song

I am the very model of a modern DQ General,
I've cleansed data customer, product, and informational,
I know the challenges of data quality, and I quote issues historical,
From the Business to IT, in order categorical,
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters very practical,
I understand application development is really quite iterational,
About teamwork and collaboration, I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about how to succeed and not to lose.

I know the key to successful projects is the people, golly gee,
From executive sponsors and team leaders down to every busy bee,
Only together can we achieve great things tactically and strategically,
I have learned what progress has been made with modern technology,
But I understand that those are business problems we all see,
And nothing can be achieved without effective methodology;
In short, with data customer, product, and informational,
I am the very model of a modern DQ General.

I know understanding data is essential to using it effectively,
And that data's best friends are its stewards, analysts, and SMEs,
Profiling and statistical analysis can be a wonderful tool,
But if I forget the business context then I'll look like a fool,
I check for completeness and accuracy in all of my fields,
But always verify relevancy to boost my analytical yields.

I'm very good at matching and linking records probabilistically,
But I know often it can be done just as well deterministically,
And have even seen it performed quite supercalifragilistically;
In short, with data customer, product, and informational,
I am the very model of a modern DQ General.

Even with my impressive knowledge, I am still learning and must stay adventury,
With hard work and dedication, I will know everything by the end of the century;
But still, with data customer, product, and informational,
I am the very model of a modern DQ General.